WidowLife Wisdom: Understanding Anticipatory Grief and How to Help

Anticipatory grief is the feeling of stress or sorrow that comes before an anticipated and unavoidable date on the calendar. For the widow and her children, the days leading up to a special time that was once filled with joy may now be seasoned with tenderness and mixed with sorrow. 

6 Ways to Help the Widow with Anticipatory Grief 

1. Make note of the days that could be difficult for her and put a reminder in your phone to reach out. This simple gesture will have a giant impact.
2. Ask her to share the traditions and memories she treasured with her husband. Recalling these special events will often bring joy; the conversation might lead to how she plans to continue the traditions or create new ones.
3. Talk with her about potential triggers on the actual day and how to avoid them.
4. Discuss her emotions as the specific day (his birthday, their wedding anniversary, or a holiday) approaches.
5. Walk alongside her as the day approaches. Check in periodically and serve with acts of kindness. Often, loneliness is intensified on these days. Invite her to join you for coffee, a meal with your family, or a special event she might want to attend.
6. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you on how to show empathy, compassion, and help during this time. 

Anticipatory grief may begin unnoticed but often grows as holidays and memorable dates approach. When others intentionally come alongside with sensitivity and care,  she is reminded that she is not walking this road alone. God often ministers His comfort through people who are simply willing to show up with kindness and compassion.

Other resources:

Pre-Memory Syndrome offers a deeper understanding of a significant day for the widow.

Remembering His Birthday offers practical ideas of how to celebrate the one who is no longer here.