Widowhood brings with it not only the loss of a husband but also a confidant. The one you could share hopes, dreams, and even secrets with, knowing it would stay between the two of you. You could feel comfortable confessing sin and sorrow as well as the joys of life. For many, there was an unspoken understanding about many circumstances, relationships, and situations in life. And now he is gone.
Often, the realization that your person is not here begins immediately. You want him there to help with funeral preparations and to navigate the descending chaos. People will say crazy things or try to fix your grief at this vulnerable time, and it would be wonderful to process this with him.
You might begin to wonder: who is my safe person? Yes, you might have an inner circle of friends or someone you are comfortable sharing your heart with, but it’s just not the same. At times, there is no one more trustworthy than your husband.
If you are a single mother, a brief conversation with your husband could help navigate many parenting trials, tribulations, and triumphs. Now, sharing those concerns with someone else might feel like a betrayal of your children, while celebrating their victories might feel like prideful boasting. You miss having the one person with whom you could freely share it all.
God sees and understands this great loss. Transitioning your focus from a physical husband to the Lord is not always immediate, but it is important. Yes, you have friends who can help with decisions, pray over concerns, and offer guidance. However, in widowhood, God is the One you must learn to bring every need to. The reason for this is that what was once acceptable to share with your soul mate may be interpreted as gossip or slander when shared with someone else. And although concerns for your children can certainly be shared with trusted people, only God can give the direction, answers, healing, and deliverance they ultimately need.
Never underestimate what it means that God is a Father to the fatherless and a Defender of widows (Psalm 68:5). When you feel helpless, misunderstood, taken advantage of, lonely, or sad, He is there. You can tell Him everything. Nothing needs to be withheld. He invites you to pour out your heart before Him.
Keep these truths in mind when you miss your confidant:
- Pour out your heart to Him.
“Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him…” (Psalm 62:8 ESV). - Tell Him your troubles.
“I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him” (Psalm 142:2 ESV). - Give Him the burdens you are carrying.
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved” (Psalm 55:22 ESV). - Bring every concern to Him in prayer.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6 ESV). - Cry out to Him in your distress.
“In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me” (Psalm 120:1 ESV).
God is faithful to hear your cries, carry your burdens, and answer your prayers. When you miss the one person who knew you best and with whom you could share anything, remember that you still have a safe place to pour out your heart. The Lord is there, and He will never leave.
