Her Story: Ashley Galo

Mark always said, “Never miss an opportunity to see where God is working.”

My first sight of Mark was at Toccoa Falls College in 1992. Walking into the gym as a freshman, my glance caught this tall, handsome guy in a polyester campus security uniform. We joked it was the polyester that made a lasting impression on me. A year later, he bravely proposed to me in front of my family. Our covenant marriage vowed never to give ourselves an out. We would follow Him wherever He led us in ministry, never missing an opportunity. As a student pastor, Mark and my counseling degree fit together like a puzzle for 26 years. Seeing students’ lives changed by the gospel gave us immeasurable joy. We have two miracle children after three miscarriages: Adeline, 19, and Spencer, 17. We homeschooled for 13 years, looking back, cherishing that decision as a gift. The flexibility it gave us to go on mission trips, to camps, and have breakfast devotions together was just perfect for us. Our marriage, ministry, and family were exactly like we had dreamed it would be. He was my favorite smile, the one I looked for in a crowded room. The beach was our outlet, solitude, and refuge. We would often look at older couples walking hand in hand and say, “That’s gonna be us, babe.”

We faced challenges side by side, not against each other. Cancer wasn’t new to us. My brother is a non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma survivor, and cancer took my dad in 2004. In 2018, a routine dental exam led to a biopsy on his tongue, and red flags and alarms went off in my head, revealing squamous cell carcinoma. Our kids were 13 and 11 at that time, and telling them was the hardest conversation, knowing their lives would change forever. We prayed that night for healing, wisdom, and successful surgery. All cancer was removed. The recovery process was difficult using notebooks to communicate. We became very good at hand signals and facial expressions. Radiation took its toll on his body, and eating, I became the “Smoothie Queen.”

Mark had three reoccurrences each time the cancer came back more aggressive, taking more of his speech, appearance, and mind. One of his nurses said, “I saw you down in pre-op and have witnessed your drastic limitations, and your wife lovingly cares for you. I am getting married in two weeks; I want what y’all have.” He wrote, “Jesus needs to be the center of your life and marriage.” To be honest, I questioned God. “Lord, why are you taking his ability to share the gospel, pray, teach students, enjoy the taste of food, and communicate?” God was still using Mark. We dug deep in prayer. He will always be my handsome warrior. God showed me during that time, He chose me to be his soulmate, and caretaker. It was a humbling realization that this was His plan A for our life.

The night before he was admitted into hospice, he grabbed my hand and wrote down, “I’m the winner. If anyone asks, tell them I’m the winner.” We played worship music, and he lifted his hands and worshipped, giving our family one last gift. The testimony was a perfect picture of Mark’s life. Our church staff and friends cared for him so that I could be his wife one last time. I read to him his cancer-fighting verse Psalm 34: 7–8: “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He rescues them. O taste and see that the Lord is good. How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.” Sunday, October 9, 2022, was Mark’s Heaven Day.

Life going from wife to widow, a family of four to three, is unimaginable no matter how much preparation you have. It’s foreign, unnatural, and still so raw. The void of  Mark not here to help parent has been the hardest, but I have a constant companion Jesus, and I lean into Him every day for wisdom.

Grief will always be around, but I believe that joy, happiness, and laughter can also co-exist in that space as well. Grief has deepened my faith. It’s not something that can end or a place you arrive because love has no limit. I know Mark is with Jesus, healed and whole, and does not want to come back. That’s how perfect Heaven is. It’s the memories that we hold on to, not the “what ifs.” When Mark claimed Psalm 34:7-8 I believe he was giving it to us for this time without him. Knowing the angle of the Lord encamps around us each day gives me peace. The generous support from our church, community, and friends is unwavering, and I am so thankful. Our kids keep me going. They are on their own grief journey. Milestone moments, graduation, college, and winning the football state championship without their dad here are hard. Still, we are heading slowly into healing; sometimes, the small steps are the biggest wins. Mark wrote in one of his notebooks, “Ashley, our story doesn’t end when I leave this earth.” When loneliness comes, I think of the ways God has provided for us.

I want to celebrate our future adventures with joy. I may not be there yet, but that’s where I’m heading.

Like Mark said, “Never miss an opportunity to see where God is working.”

Babe, you are the winner!