Dear Pastors and Church Leaders,

We are excited that you have a passion and calling to care for the widow and fatherless in your church and community. You are embracing a ministry that is very dear to the heart of God. It is so important to the Lord that He promises to bless those who bless the widow in Deuteronomy 14:29.

Over the last 20 years, as I have walked the path of widowhood, I’ve seen that churches truly want to help the widow, but they just don’t know how. Widows have a variety of practical, emotional, and spiritual needs and without their husband by their side, they often lose their familiar network of resources and their community of friends. Perspective Ministries is here to help your widow’s ministry to direct the widow’s focus to God (1 Timothy 5:5).

WidowLife for churches equips churches to care for widows through a thriving widow’s ministry. If you would like more information about how to start a WidowLife ministry in your church please email us at info@perspectiveministries.org or visit our speaker request page.

| July 29, 2019

Job is a familiar book of a man who lost everything that was precious to him, his family, his possessions, and even his own health. Many people came to comfort him, but no one understood what he was really going through. His comment during his peak grief season was, “Miserable comforters are you all!” While your widowed friend may not experience the depth of suffering that Job faced, she may identify with several aspects of his pain, feeling as though she is the modern day JobetteYour part in her story is crucial. She needs friends and family to offer their support and presence, not opinions and misinterpretation of God’s work in her life. Let’s learn from Job’s friends to avoid their mistakes. Let’s comfort her in ways that deeply bless her, knowing that one day she may turn around and comfort as she has been comforted (1 Corinthians 1:3-5).

How to be Jobette’s Friend

How to serve the widow in a way that will best serve her and her children:

  1. Do not compare your experience with death and grief with hers. Do not say that you understand what she is going through. Her story is her own. While you may have had an experience with death, she really needs to know that you do not know exactly what she is feeling at this time.
  2. Do not evaluate her grieving process during the first few years.  Many well-meaning friends and family will issue a report card assessing her progress–she is grieving too much or too little. Grieving takes time no matter how hard one tries to speed up the process. She does not want to be graded and watched as if she were living in a fish bowl.
  3. Do not expect her to say thank you. She is appreciative but overwhelmed. Not only is it difficult to remember to express gratitude, but she may not have time with all that she is now dealing with. She may also feel uncomfortable being on the receiving end of life.
  4. Do not assume she is prideful because she does not ask for help. Often, she doesn’t think to ask for help, doesn’t know who to ask for help, or feels she has asked for help too many times.
  5. Do not get offended if she forgets an important celebration in your life. Grief is hard work and consumes her energy. She will return again, but it will take time.
  6. Do not consider her personality change as permanent. She is not able to focus on your own problems now. She may appear to be self-focused, but this will not be forever. While you love her unconditionally, you are modeling the comfort she will offer to others one day.
  7. Do not make empty commitments. If you say you will cut her grass, make sure to follow through.
| April 23, 2018

Each one of us faces the unknown every single day! This is why James offers an important reminder:

“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.  stead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” James 4:13-15

When facing the unknown, the Bible offers great promises for those who put their trust in God:

Read the verse and make note of the promise to claim:

Jeremiah 49:11 “… let your widows trust in Me.”

Psalm 9:10 “And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.”

Promise: When I put my trust in God, He will not forsake me.

Psalm 37:5 “Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He will do it.”

Promise: Commit my way to the Lord and He will do it.

Psalm 40:3 “He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear and will trust in the LORD.”

Promise: God will put a new song in my mouth and many will fear and trust in the Lord.

Psalm 62:8 “Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”

Promise: Trust God at all times.  Pour out my heart to Him.  God is a refuge for me.

Psalm 115:11 “You who fear the LORD, trust in the LORD; He is their help and their shield.”

Promise: For those who trust in the Lord, He is their help and their shield.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

Promise: Trust the Lord with all my heart leaning not on my own understanding.  He will make my paths straight.

Psalm 31:14 “But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD, I say, “You are my God.”

Psalm 33:21 “For our heart rejoices in Him, because we trust in His holy name.”

Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.”

Psalm 56:11 “In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

 

| January 21, 2019

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What Churches Are Saying

I have known and loved Lori and admired her steadfast love for the Lord and application of His principles in the lives of her children for years! Lori brings First Baptist Woodstock great value in helping the church understand the widows’ perspective. We support Perspective Ministries and urge you do to so, as well.

Johnny Hunt
Senior Vice President of Evangelism and Leadership, North American Mission Board