We are very excited to share with you our first Christmas giving catalog!
Choose a gift for the widow and fatherless that will help Light Their World. Click here to donate.
We are so very sorry for those of you who have family and friends suffering the tragedy of Hurricane Harvey. At the present time, Perspective Ministries is seeking ways to help the widows in need due to this present storm. As we all watch the news of this sad disaster taking place in Houston, I can’t help but relate this calamity to the widow and fatherless with the call of God in James to visit the widow and fatherless in their distress. They have experienced death bringing disaster into their world.
God is always at work! We have had an action-packed first half of the year. Please continue to pray for the ministry as God is bringing many widows and fatherless of all ages, denominations, and walks of life inside and outside the church to the attention of the ministry who are in need of care. The James 1:27 command to visit the widow and fatherless in their distress comes immediately after James issues the challenge that one not only hear the Word of God, but be a doer of the Word. We feel confident that you desire to help. We feel sure that you want to be a doer of the Word when it comes to the care of widows and the fatherless. Perspective Ministries stands ready to assist you to act on this important command to bring relief to those experiencing distress.
In the last six months Perspective Ministries has been active in the following ways:
Perspective ministries is growing quickly and we need your help to continue the story and ministry mission. We are super excited about the upcoming first time ever catalog of gift ideas for the widow and fatherless. We will also bless the fatherless and literally Light Their World by decorating their homes with Christmas lights, and a WidowLife Network Directory of exceptional service providers is being created.
We feel confident that you want to take part in the James 1:27 challenge. Please pray about helping us in one of the following ways.
Lori would love to share the story of God’s faithfulness with your small group or church and how you take part in continuing the story.
When the children of Israel made it to the Promised Land, the Lord spoke to their leader, Joshua, commanding him to build an altar of remembrance. Joshua did just that encouraging the people to take time to remember all the ways that God had been faithful to them. The altar of stones would be a sign to the children of the next generation when they would ask, “What is that altar and what are the stones? Please tell us, what is this all about?” Joshua 4 tells us this story.
Every time I visit my grandson, he asks for me to tell him a “life-child story” meaning a childhood story of my life. I think ahead through my life-child stories to have them prepared for our bedtime devotions. What he is asking is, “Tell me about when you were a little girl.” The Village Appreciation Celebration was overwhelming in that over 300 people came to create a life-child story for my grandsons. We took time to place stones on the altar as we remembered God’s faithfulness over the last eighteen years. The altar also presents a challenge for the next generation to consider being used in the lives of others. Hurting people follow after us. Let’s be faithful to share the story of Jesus.
(10 years old when her daddy died. Today, Abi is married to Nick Fasciano raising four precious boys.)
As the oldest child, I should have the most memories of Bobby Apon. Truthfully, my memories are a swirled crescendo of my senses. My dad smelled like sawdust after he built something by hand on the cold concrete floor or in the driveway. He felt like his huge hand over mine when he built and then taught me to hold a bow and arrow correctly and then together we shot it at the inside of the garage door. Looked like muted color pancake batter he made in the shape of Mickey Mouse with carob chip eyes, smelled like burning leaves, sounded like my own shrieks of joy as he bounced on the trampoline, felt like wet cement when I squished my hand into the floor of the bike shed he just built, feels like my stomach jumped into my throat one Monday night in May eighteen years ago.
I started to believe the lie that I had lost the most significant person in my life. That there would never be anyone as important and I would continue to live as a bird with a broken wing that wouldn’t heal. The enemy wants me to believe that since I endured such a significant tragedy so early in life, the rest of my life is spent just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Do you want to know the truth? We did lose a significant person. As I look around this room I see hundreds of people who made the deliberate decision to get his or her hands dirty, use their time, spend their money to try and fill one man’s abandoned shoes, and I am confident there are hundreds more unaccounted for tonight.
I see all of you who became intentionally significant to us. To you significant people, God as Father sounds like biblical truth set in front of me over and over again. Looks like a teacher at The King’s Academy brushing the knots out of my hair as she let me weep into the sink over something insignificant. Feels like security when other teachers guarded normalcy in my life when at times I felt like a little goldfish in a bowl. Sounds like hearing myself calling one of you Dad while we were camping. Instead of you making me feel silly, you reassured me instead. Feels like being heard when the pressures of high school made me feel overwhelmed with darkness and you took the time out of your day to meet with me to talk me through it. Sounds like the time that I heard I would get to attend Liberty University a gift that remains one of the largest in my life. When the enemy tries to remind me of a giant void in my life in the shape of my dad, the Lord is quick to remind me of your faces.
(9 years old when her daddy died. Today she is married to Ben raising four sons and one foster boy they hope to adopt. They planted a church in Vermont three years ago.)
I specifically want to thank you for the ways you have ministered His Word to our family.
Psalm 107:20 says, “He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.”
That’s exactly what the Lord has done in our family. He’s used so many to train us in the Word of God teaching us how to study. He sent many to pray Scripture over us as well as to send us verses that remind us of the promises of God’s Word. We would not be where we are today if we didn’t have so many faithful people ministering the truth of God’s Word into our hearts.
1 Peter 2:6 “For this is contained in Scripture: “Behold I lay in Zion a choice stone, a precious corner stone, and he who believes in Him will not be disappointed.”
The cornerstone is Jesus, and He’s the One we have built our lives on and we are not disappointed.
He has brought us through fire and water. He has laid an oppressive burden upon us that we don’t always understand, and yet He has brought us out into a place of abundance and we are not disappointed. I want to encourage those of you who may be walking through fire and water and you are wondering what in the world the Lord is doing. Cling to Jesus. Trust Him. Obey Him. Hold tight to Him and you will not be disappointed. Psalm 66
(8 years old at the time his daddy died. Today he is married and impacting others as a coach in the life of the business world.)
As I look at each face, I remember that ice cream trip. I remember that day in the batting cages. I remember that prayer session when you laid hands on me and my wife. I remember that study hall where you straightened a young buck out. I remember that research paper I probably didn’t do that good on, but it was a learning lesson. I remember that night where I was sitting at the table talking to you and not playing video games. It’s all so overwhelming. It really is. So, from my heart, and you will hear this all night, that the purpose of this evening is that we want the Lord Almighty to be glorified and we want you to be gratified.
There are people who intentionally took an opportunity to take a young kid and say, “I am not going to let him become a statistic. I’m not going to let him fail.” You spent your time and energy to mentor me, while the whole time I was starving for an example. What does a provider look like? What does a protector look like? What does a family vacation look like with a dad? What does it mean to be a man of purity? What does it mean to be someone who is a prayer warrior for their family? I didn’t have that. My dad was an amazing man that I have nothing but positive memories of, but I didn’t have that model. Thank you for modeling manhood to me. I cannot thank you enough because I have a lovely wife, Brittany, who is a direct recipient of what you have invested in me. I love you.
(6 years old at the time of her daddy’s death. Today, she is making preparation to work as a photo journalist with the International Mission Board.)
I was asked to share how God has been a Father. That’s is not an easy question since God has fathered me in numerous ways over these last eighteen years. As I think through the pillars of grace I must say that, for me, God is love. He has been a Father of love by bringing people to pray for me over the numerous trips I’ve been able to take. There are people who not only said they would pray, but actually got on their knees to intercede on my behalf. He has been love by providing and working in the tiny details of my life. Because I have experienced God as my Father, I know that He cares for the details of your life as well. Growing up, I imagined a father considering the details of his child…He would know what your favorite color is or what you like. This is the coolest thing to me because some people see God as Father as a distant idea, thinking “Yes, God is a Father, but I don’t really see Him as my Father.” They see God as impersonal. However, God has chosen to point out to me that He cares about the details just as an earthly father would.
God doesn’t have to be a distant far-off idea of someone you can kind of talk to or pray to who doesn’t interact with us because He does involve Himself. I don’t know where we lost the idea that God is a personal Father–He really is. He was a Father before time began. Jesus Christ is His Son. He gets to portray that on us which is huge. He has been a Father to me as a personal God, yes, but as Father of details.
God knows the deepest desires of our hearts and cares about the deepest details. God is such a faithful, loving Father. Thank you for praying for me all these years because I know all of you have. Thank you for writing letters and sending texts, for meeting with me for coffee, for coaching us, and for teaching us. Words are not easy to express our appreciation, but thank you so much for everything. You mean the world to us.
(was 5 years old when his daddy died. Today, Isaac works as a graphic designer for Liberty University.
It is really cool to see the whole collective of people as a testament to see when you are inside of the Lord’s will to see what He is capable of doing which is anything and everything. One of which is beating the statistics of a fatherless family which is what we went through. The world is not in our favor when it comes to being fatherless. They look at a single mom and the eight kids and think this probably won’t turn out too well, but the Lord stepped in saying, “No, I have a better idea. I will be their Father and walk with them from the beginning. It’s really neat how the Lord selected different pockets of you to minister to each of my siblings. Some of you ministered to my older siblings in ways that would not have been effective for me. And some of you ministered to me in ways that wouldn’t have touched my younger brothers and sister. It’s really cool to see the Lord’s Sovereignty and faithfulness in all of that. He knew exactly what we needed as fatherless kids, and allowed you take part in the story as the hands and feet of Jesus. It’s a humbling opportunity for all of us to look out and see your faces. Thank you. We would not be here today if it weren’t for the Lord and very importantly if it weren’t for you. We are where we are today because you said yes to the Lord in caring for our family. We love you deeply.
(turned 4 years old three days after his daddy died. Today, Evan feels the call of God to give his life sharing the Gospel with others especially those who are also fatherless.)
Hebrews 13:7 “Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.”
Anybody can talk and try to influence people by what they say, but ultimately nothing can impact anyone more than when their lives and their character outshine the words that they speak. We imitated your actions, and watched your faith. We considered the outcome of your way of life. You may not have even known that we were watching, but it was when we watched your actions that our lives were changed. Thank you for playing a part in our story.
(was 2 when her daddy died. Today, Amy is a junior attending Liberty University with plans to be a flight attendant.)
I wanted to focus specifically on how the mentors I looked up to ultimately shaped me into the person that I am today. Whether that be a teacher, a high school intern, or parents of friends of mine, throughout my life God has sent people walking alongside of me.
God fathered me in tangible ways: In third grade, my school had an event called Dads and donuts. I remember Pastor Johnny took time out of his super busy schedule to pick me up in his hummer which was the coolest car in the world to me. After the event, he took me to the mall and told me I could get whatever I wanted. That was such a huge deal to me. I felt as if I were walking around with the president. He showed up making me feel like I was on cloud nine. Fast forward to high school and that tangible example of a father was my best friend’s dad. God could see this was something that I wanted. God knew this was something that I needed because high school is the hardest part of your life, at least for me it was, so I wanted and needed a father-figure. God physically fathered me through someone else’s dad.
Thank you! We give glory to God for the way He used you because without you we wouldn’t be where we are today.
(Micah was a thirteen month old baby when his daddy committed suicide. Today, Micah is preparing to study business at Liberty University. His goal is to own a Chick-Fil-A after graduation.)
Because I was a baby when my dad died, God has been very unique in my life compared to my siblings because I have no memory of my father. I’ve never known what it is like to have a dad. The way God used Himself was different. God promises to be a Father to the fatherless. He did that through you—the body of Christ which was most relevant in my life. He has used families to take me on trip giving me that family experience with a dad. He has given me friends who moved me closer to God rather than drawing me away. What you did in answering the call of God was truly impactful and we will forever be thankful for you. You have challenged me, been a servant, been generous, given your time, giving money – NewSong sent me to SLU and taught me about leadership allowing me to take that path. Through all of that, I now want to do the same with my life. I want to continue to be a servant, a light in other’s life, show them hope and further God’s Kingdom through that.
We saw the story from a different perspective. Perhaps you bought a pair of tennis shoes, you may have prayed, you were a teacher, you fixed our dishwasher when it was leaking through to the garage. You know what part you played in the body, but we saw the grand and glorious story. We saw God. We wanted to share a glimpse of that with you so that you could see that with God all things are possible.
God charted the next season of our lives with a promise from His Word that we have lived our lives on.
Psalm 68:5 declares, “I am a defender of the widow and father to the fatherless.”
We believed His Word and we have lived His Word every single day. God’s truth makes a difference.
When I stood at the wedding altar, my wedding ring had inscribed, “Everything God does remains forever.” When my husband was no longer here, I remember wrestling with God asking what was that all about since my marriage did not last forever. Over time, I put stones around that diamond of hope—eight stones to represent my children as my forever. The ring came on and off as the emotions would rise and fall. The Apostle Paul expressed a desire in 1 Corinthians 7:8 for those who are single and those who are widowed to “remain as I” – focused on the Lord and focused on others. Of course, Paul also encouraged marriage for those who were married. His point was to fulfill your calling. I wear my ring today as a symbol that I am called to remain focused on the Lord giving the next season of my life to encourage the widow and fatherless to put their trust in God and the promises in His Word. God’s perspective makes a difference.
I have been so impacted by the body of Christ and the way God has worked in our lives that I want to give back. I want to turn around and comfort those who have been called to walk with God as Husband and God as father as I have been comforted. I want to share His perspective with them. You are the reason why we have started Perspective Ministries. This ministry is because of you. I want to be like you in this world. Thank you for being there to help light our world. We want to be there to help Light Their World.
The seasons change bringing about a new chapter in life. We all experience the turning of these pages where pillar points are created at these intersections. As I anticipated the high school graduation for Micah, the youngest of my eight children, my time of reflection became a moment of rich worship which grew to an idea . . . A Village Appreciation Celebration.
It has been said that it takes a village to raise a child which was definitely our experience! Our family began to discuss how we could make such a time of appreciation happen. The question was not could it happen, but it should happen. The entire family put their yes on the table and plans began.
Please take time to view the Village Appreciation video telling the story of God’s pillars of grace.
May 3rd is National Widow’s Day. Currently there are 13 million widows in the United States. God commands His church to visit widows and the fatherless in their time of distress. The Apon Family will take time to remember those in our village who have come alongside of us helping me to raise my eight fatherless children as a widow. If you would like to join us on May 18th as we testify of God’s faithfulness, please click on Village Appreciation Celebration for details and to RSVP.
Consider the following on this national holiday to remember the widow:
God is the overall covering for the widow. He takes her under His wings and promises His protection. God delights in taking care of the widow as Husband. She must learn to put her trust in Him. God cares about her spiritual, emotional, and physical needs along with her need for community. When she is walking through the dark “valley of the shadow of death,” God’s promises are of great encouragement:
“Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.” Psalm 139:12
“Choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants.” Deuteronomy 30:19-20
…is a lady in transition in the context of pain. (Side note: She likes the “r” in Mrs. to remain longer than you might think). She may be young, a mommy, elderly, disabled, shut-in, financially impoverished or inherited a standard of living she is not ready to handle. The widow community is made up of different personalities experiencing a range of emotions. She is sad, distraught, stressed, angry, bitter, confused, disappointed, tired and afraid. We seek to redirect her focus from man to God to bring life after death and turn sorrow into joy. God gives examples of widows who pray, give, serve, trust and sing! It is the desire of Perspective Ministries to disciple widows towards that goal.
Jeremiah 49:11 “Let your widows trust in Me.”
The WidowLife team is made up of the people God will use as she settles into her new normal helping to Light Their World. They will act as a gardener with a watering can of refreshment providing resources God will use to care for the following needs bringing growth for all:
In April, God allowed Perspective Ministries with the help of One Need to pressure wash some of the widow’s homes. It only takes a little time to show how much you care. It only takes a little time to answer someone’s biggest prayer. Thank you for giving so that we may visit the widow. If you would like to donate so that we can make a difference for many more ladies, please click here
Thank you and Perspective Ministries so much for having my home pressure washed. Words can not truly express how much I appreciate this gesture. We have a pressure washer so I “attempted” to do this on my own last year. I quickly learned that this was a task that I could not do with the angle of my yard. Therefore, I knew that I would have to have this done professionally and added it to a long “to do list.” When, I received your message that this had been handled for me, tears came to my eyes for several reasons. One, it was a burden lifted, but more importantly, I could feel the love of God and see His hand at work in meeting my needs. I also felt the love of my fellow man in reaching out to me to meet even so trivial of a need (there are so many others with much greater needs). I have had several home repair and maintenance issues over recent months and just to have one of these issues handled for me is truly both a relief and a blessing. This is a difficult month, as it is the second anniversary of my husband’s death. You and Perspective Ministries and those who donate their time and services spread the love of God and allow widows, like myself, to see some light in the darkness and to feel loved, cared for, and supported. Thank you so much for blessing my life and for allowing God to use you and your associates in such a beautiful and loving way.
It was a blessing to have my home pressure washed. I have never been apart of a group that ministered to others the way you all have to me. I want to also minister to those in anyway that I can. The blessing that this ministry and you individually have been to me are too many to list. Thank you just seems not enough to say.
Thank you so much for pressure washing my house. It was so helpful and now my house is sparkling and all the icky dirt is gone. I am so blessed!
This has been an eventful month in many ways. The Lord allowed us to bless widows in “ways that are meaningful to them.” Your gifts helped us to purchase tires, provide legal help, as well as disciple and mentor young widows.
“Thank you for giving me the name of your lawyer. I now have a will! We met today for the first time as well as his wife. They are absolutely precious, and I was so touched with tears streaming down my face. God bless you for reaching out to so many people!
“Thank you for the blessing of tires for my van. When I had maintenance work done, the technician warned me the front tires were bald, but I didn’t have the money. I prayed and informed your ministry of the need even though I wasn’t sure I should ask. It was so wonderful to hear your words on the phone, “Do you still need tires?” My answer was, “Do I ever!” God protected us from a blow-out, but I don’t think we would have made it much longer. My latest memory verse has been, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7. Thank you for being an answer to prayer and a messenger of God’s peace.
“Tonight’s food for thought at our WidowLife discipleship meeting was a blessing…will you choose to be bitter or better? Lori Apon did an amazing job once again mentoring to us by sharing widows in the Bible. I’m convinced every day more and more that God’s got a plan although we may not understand. I’m still clinging to my motto, “Never Lose Hope. God’s Got This!”
For me personally, the month has been full of emotions from welcoming my 8th grandson, Ethan Noah Whittinghill, into the family to moving my parents from North Carolina to Woodstock. It will be my joy to care for them in their later years. Pictures below show Ben and Kayla with their five boys, Nick and Abi with their four sons, and my parents. Thank you for your prayers. We are in exciting days as we move closer to the return of Jesus Christ. The enemy is aware of this as well. Aren’t you glad that he is already defeated? May the Lord bless you.
We would like introduce “Light Their World” (their = the widow and fatherless). WidowLife exists to meet practical needs of the widow and fatherless providing opportunities for others to do the same. Often, widows do not have the help or resources to take care of simple projects around their homes or to maintain their automobiles. Perspective Ministries, through the program WidowLife, seeks to build a network of resources to meet some of their practical needs. Perhaps you would be willing to offer your skills and services in one of the following ways:
Don’t have labor skills to offer? Consider giving so that practical needs can be met. We will connect your gift with the widow in need by providing reliable practical help.
As Perspective Ministries “visits” the widow and fatherless as Scripture commands in James 1:27, we learn of ways we can help. Sometimes the gift of flowers meets her need for encouragement, while at another time making a repair on her home reminds her that God is by her side through the body of Christ.
We will share unique opportunities to bless these ladies by sharing the details of the opportunity along with ways for you to respond.
This Spring we would like to pressure wash homes for some widows. The average cost for this blessing is $200 per home. Continue Reading
WidowLife is to meet the practical needs of the widow. This may include something as simple as changing lightbulbs in a high ceiling to taking care of much greater needs. Soon we will start sending out WidowLife opportunities to “Light Their World” ~ meeting practical needs for the widow and fatherless with the desire to give them hope. More on these opportunities to come. Continue Reading
The Lord continues to highlight the key word in James 1:27 and that is to visit the fatherless and widows.
“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction…” KJV.
The Amplified translation reminds us to “visit and look after the fatherless and the widows.”
At the beginning of the year, I laid before the Lord pages of ideas and vision for Perspective Ministries asking Him to give clear direction for 2017. The Lord has been so kind to clearly answer that prayer. God promises that “if we seek Him, we will find Him.” Oh, to live the rest of this year experiencing God in the way I have this month as I cried out to Him and heard His voice! Continue Reading
As we pack Christmas away, may the message and power of this true eternal story remain with us. The end of the year lends itself to times of reflection.
Scripture records two occasions where Mary “treasured.” Both times came after experiencing something beyond her understanding and imagination.
Luke 2:19 records that “Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.” This time of consideration came after Jesus was miraculously conceived, birthed and now she held the Lamb of God, who came to take away the sins of the world, in her arms. There are no words to express the joy and wonder felt as you finally look into the eyes of your newborn after months of anticipation, but to hold the Son of God, as Mary experienced, is more than we can begin to comprehend. What a great gift! She had so much to treasure and even more to ponder.
The next time Mary treasured was after her young son, Jesus, had been missing for three days. When she found Him in the temple, Jesus’ response to Mary was, “Did you not know that I had to be about my Father’s house?” Of course she didn’t know. The Bible goes on to share, “…they did not understand the statement He had made to them.” How could she understand why her boy had left her side to teach men in the temple? She just couldn’t. Luke 2:51 states, “…and His mother treasured all these things in her heart.” Continue Reading
When we stop to recall the Christmas story, many characters come to mind. Mary and Joseph, shepherds, angels, wise men, animals, and of course, baby Jesus. Other famous components join together to highlight the beauty and majesty of this great narrative: a star, manger, and the sign.
The sign – oh what an interesting treasure nestled into chapter two of Luke’s gospel:
“This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Luke 2:12
A sign for who? And what was the sign? These are good questions worth considering.
A sign by definition is “any object, action, event, pattern, etc., that conveys a meaning.”
Right after Jesus was born, the Bible tells us that Mary “wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.” Oh my, how sad, has been the response through the years when this story is told. Sweet baby Jesus had to be born in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn.
How could this be? Jesus, Immanuel, God with us. Surely, Father God could have written this story differently. However, God has a way of writing stories with mystery. Beautiful mystery until the last jot and tittle have been woven into a tapestry creating a glorious and unexpected symphony. There are no accidents, mistakes or even unwritten chapters that God can’t use for a purpose. In fact, we are promised that God will work all things together for good for those who love Him. How reassuring. Even our biggest mess-ups can be sovereignly used as an exclamation point of wonder.
That’s exactly what happens right here in the Christmas story. The baby wrapped up in swaddling clothes lying in a manger isn’t there just because there was no room in the inn. There was no room in the inn so that God’s son, the Lamb of God, would be lying in a manger wrapped up in swaddling clothes . . . as a sign. A sign that conveys a meaning. Continue Reading
There are many books on the market today addressing the subject of suffering and grief. Often a friend will hand a book to their hurting friend hoping the steps discussed in the read will fix or at least soothe their distress. The gift of a great resource is not a bad idea especially if the book offers hope and discusses topics that are hard to communicate or often misunderstood. Over the years I have discovered books that are truly helpful and want to share these with you over time.
Books to help the friend of those who grieve are so valuable. The friend of the one who is hurting has a very important place on the timeline of life and death for the one who suffers. You will have the opportunity to be their listening ear, their safe place, their reasoning mentor and perhaps the one who may be called to speak truth in love. Most likely, we will know of someone in our personal world who experiences tragedy or unspeakable loss. It is at this point we are given the role of “Job’s friend.” This group didn’t leave a positive legacy for themselves; in fact, Scripture records Job’s declaration of his friends to be “miserable comforters are you all.” Thankfully, my family was blessed with a village of people who were everything but miserable comforters. They were instruments of God’s grace.
You will want to be that same kind of friend as well. Being There, by Dave Furman, is a fantastic new book on the market offering help to those who want to help. Truly it is one of the first of its kind and desperately needed for the body of Christ. Dave’s counsel comes from his own road of suffering teaching him that people need help knowing how to help. Continue Reading
December will be tender for those who are facing this without their loved one. No matter how hard they try to focus on the positive, the reality of not having the one they deeply loved by their side is almost more than they can handle. Depending on where they are in the grief process, some will be in shock and denial seeming to be handling the holidays beautifully. Others may be angry and cold appearing to have become anti-Christmas.
Tell them you are sorry for the pain. Tell them sweet memories of their loved one, and ask them to share memories with their loved one. This conversation will most likely bring tears, but will be a sweet gift. Take time to care knowing their journey through the grief process takes time.
“Love those who are hurting not because they’ve done anything for us, but because of what Jesus has already done for us. You will get strength to help the hurting only when you understand what God has done for you in the gospel.” Dave Furman
This post is written from the perspective of looking back through the years on a spectrum of holiday memories; some that make me smile while others I’m glad are in my rearview mirror. For the first time, after 28 years as a mom, I am home alone preparing a Thanksgiving feast for adult children making their way home for the holidays with my grandchildren in tow. What?! How did this anticipated season come so fast? Christmas on the horizon (okay, just 32 days away) doesn’t cause a panic attack any more. I must admit; however, during those intense child-rearing years there were times I didn’t think I would make it to the end of the day much less the end of the season . . . but I did.
The song, Christmas Shoes, came out the year after my husband died. The story in these lyrics hit tender places for many causing it to soar to the top of the charts for years. The line that always pulled at my emotions was, “Mama made Christmas good at our house.” If I didn’t already feel the need to meet this expectation in myself and my family, there was now a song to confirm my responsibility. As moms, we are the memory makers. As a single or widow-mom, the weight of this can be very heavy. Stress doesn’t look good on anyone. Grief plus stress can be an emotional train wreck waiting to happen. Christmas will be different without your loved one. There is no way to pretend that it won’t be tender and downright hard. It is with this in mind that I share an accumulated basket of ideas for not only surviving the holidays, but practical ways to prepare so that Christmas really is a special time with you and your children. Don’t try to accomplish all of these in your first year. Pick and choose thoughts that might work for your family keeping in mind that I was making Christmas good at our house for eight children. The best suggestion is to hold on tight to the Lord trusting in His promise to be with you. He will carry you through.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3
You could hear bells start to jingle and feel a hint of Christmas in the air. As a mom raising eight fatherless children, this easily turned into the sound of panic. The countdown to Christmas often began a personal countdown to relief – the end of the holiday chaos on December 26th.
Oh, don’t get me wrong – Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year; however, facing it alone with the desire to “make Christmas good at our house” was overwhelming. Over the years, the body of Christ came to soften this reality with touches of love through practical help. A beautifully lit angel guarded our front door one year, anonymously delivered in the night, to remind us that God was our overall protector. Men gave of their time to hang strands of lights on our home so the children would feel that life would go on.
Perspective Ministries is now 11 months old! I am still pinching myself that the vision is at the appointed time. God has allowed us to accomplish so much; however, each day we realize there is so much to do. Just think about it – there are 21,000 widows in Atlanta! The good news is God is using you to make a difference.
Because of your investment, WidowLife was able to care for the widow helping to Light Her World in the following ways: Continue Reading
What if . . .
You began to believe that there really is a “God Account?” This would mean that, by faith, you would begin to take God at His word. For years people have made efforts to invest in the right account whether in the stock market or in other investments offering great interest and gain. Imagine how God could be glorified if we began to see, take and make opportunities to invest in the God Account He has already established.
In Luke 18:22 God says, “Sell all that you possess and distribute it to the poor and you shall have treasure in heaven.” What if we knew the day and hour that He was to return? What if His return were in 25 days? What would you do different? Would you be willing to change your investments to those that are lasting? Would you consider transferring funds from the accounts that you can see to those that cannot be seen – to your “God Account?”
Allow God to challenge you to: “Test Me now in this, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows. Then I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of the ground; nor will your vine in the field cast its grapes, says the LORD of hosts.” Malachi 3:10
There is always something to be thankful for has become a popular challenge to reflect upon daily, weekly, and even in the midst of sorrow and pain. God is good even when our perception of “good” differs. Spend time this month giving thanks.
“I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders.” Psalm 9:1 Continue Reading
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas or at least it is at Hobby Lobby and every other department store in town. Many families make their way to the pumpkin patch while Michael Bublé sings Baby it’s cold outside sending a chill to the core of your heart.
Whether this is your first Christmas without someone to kiss under the mistletoe or you’ve spent years singing I’ll have a Blue Christmas Without You, the holidays have potential for teary eyes and tender emotions.
“He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” Job 8:21 Joy and laughter will come again; however, in the meantime attempt to insert some laughter and joy in your season of pain. Consider the following to bring light into your dark season:
“I’m sick and I’m coming home,” was the cry of my husband of seven years and father to our four small children on the other end of the phone. As I awaited his return, I felt God whisper, “Your greatest fear has been realized.” Upon his arrival, I learned that he had been unfaithful to me in our marriage, and was sicker than we ever imagined. God spoke to me again saying, “This will be a transition time, but it will be for your good and My glory.”